A Few Bothers

Warning: Please do not let children read this. This is a dark entry that would scar them for life. Also, not for sensitive people. This does question religion in the afterlife beliefs. If you're very religious and know your mind set in the possible afterlife, please do not read this entry. I do not wish to ruin anyone's mind set. This is just a ponder for open minds.

Every night, for about a month or so, I feel insecure and afraid. I couldn't figure out why... but after reading more of a fan-fiction called "My Little Dashie" that a friend showed me--and I quote from Rainbow Dash herself "Darn it! Now you got me acting all sappy."--it has dawned on me.

Funny Chat Moment

We were on the topic of Phoenix Wright (A Nintendo Puzzle DS). Linked me to song remixes of the game. Then he said this...

Friend: I heard someone actaully used one of the songs in law school durring a play trial.
Blue SLY: lol really?
Friend: Apparently so.
Blue SLY: did he pass or fail? XD
Blue SLY: lol
Friend: Everyone but the teacher got it.
Friend: But yes it did.
Blue SLY: yes what? o.o
Friend: Pass.
Blue SLY: damn lol
Friend: Now I know what to play when answering questions durring class.
Blue SLY: too bad can't play that in real court
Blue SLY: LOL!
Friend: I'd get up.
Friend: Slam my desk.
Friend: Point at the teahcer.
Friend: And yell.
Friend: "YOUR HONOR!"
Friend: And then answer the questions.
Friend: And present the page numbers as evidence.

I died laughing right there. XD

My Stuffed Animals

When I was a kid, and didn't had any friends to turn to for comfort or to vent, I would talk to my stuffed animals, especially my favorite "Mr. Bear." A stuffed teddy bear with a Hard Rock shirt on. He felt like the only friend for me at that time, that cared and listen. However the lack of life didn't really help much. Cleo, the cat, was able to do the comforting.

Eventually, by the time I entered High School, I put him and my other stuffed animals I used to sleep with in bed in the closet. I had to convince myself I couldn't rely on stuffed animals for advice and comfort in my entire life. Had to try to make real friends this time. I had friends as a kid... but couldn't really open up to them as they didn't really care. They couldn't understand either. Eventually I felt abandoned by them. Did make new friends, but like I said many times, couldn't really open up to them, in fear I would be a burden to them and abandon me. Didn't have them in any of my classes in High School anyway.

I still have my stuffed animals in the closet to this day. They mean too much to me to give away.

Even though I have great friends I can only talk to online, wish I had some in person.

Staying Positive

Been trying to stay positive for awhile. Here's what I came up with so far:

• Still Alive.
• Still have friends, didn't lose any.
• May have a job eventually.
• Not being able to pay rent.
• Taking a semester off to get my thoughts together.
• Sorta well fit.
• Progressed a bit in Ruby than I've had in any Pokemon game.
• Gave dad's movie gift, "Watchmen", a try. It's okay... second half finally made some sense... still some plot holes though.
• No injuries.
• Had a good laugh from Precocious after watching half of the movie.
• Not doing drugs, smoking, or anything illegal.
• Not in trouble with the law or have a criminal record (so far so good).
• Not being an intentional jerk to others.
• Open minded (for the most part).
• Saw two cute videos: Sleepy Baby Bunny and Lyze - The Happiest Owlet
• Not in a gang or part of a mafia.
• Have a few friends I can turn to when I feel down, although I need to stop abusing that as I feel I'm about to annoy them.
• Smart

That's all I can think of at this time... guess that's an okay list. Could be better, but it'll do. :)