Pokemon Controversy: Agree, Disagree, and Confused

I was looking around Bulbapedia, while playing with Ruby for move and stat info between two Pokemon that are in relation of evolution. Then I wondered off to something else and came to here: Pokemon Controversy

Few of these accusations/concerns I agree with, some I don't really understand, rest... I just wanna slap them basically for not having an open mind.

Pokemon: Missed, Regrets, Idea

I need to learn to not overdue than what is needed. That being said, need to also keep my curiosity in check as it may remind me of my past.

I was using Bulbapedia (Pokemon Wiki) to look up weaknesses in wild Pokemon I face, in Ruby, to plan which Pokemon to bring with me. I then got curious on one thing to another. I haven't been up-to-date with Pokemon since Ruby and Sapphire came out, game wise. As for Anime wise, somewhere in the first series (Johto and Kanto regions). Looking at new characters, missing information of what happened with the old character(s) and where the new one came from. Just seeing all that made me feel so... outdated and old.

Journal Entry #13

Started playing Pokemon Ruby again, after not playing it for years on an old save file. Think I'm doing better than I did years ago, in general of Pokemon games... but now I don't have anyone to battle/trade with. I did as a kid between Red/Blue/Yellow and Gold/Silver versions... but the "peers" I had weren't very motivated, but would tease me if I made a mistake or got a bit lost... they were 3 badges ahead of me. I made a mistake once of using a master ball on a Ditto, it was the only pokeball I had at that time and got teased at. I asked "How do I get the bike?" in Blue and I got laughed at... by middle school I had to accept the fact they weren't really my friends and went on to try to find new ones. I was always easy to be picked on... left helpless without anyone to go to for comfort.

My Learning Skill: Not Able to Improve with Others

As I sit here, listening to early tracks of the Gorlliaz like "Feel Good Inc." "Kids With Guns" "El Manana" "19/2000 (Soulchild remix)" (Original here) that I would listen to back in my early years of high school, and possibly 8th grade in middle school, has me thinking about my learning skills

Seems during my 13 years of school... I have always felt rushed, not to do my best... but to BE the best... to always get the best grades. Eventually I was doing okay in school... but by the time I got to middle school... I felt like I was lagging behind. Sure my grades were able to pass... but I don't feel I got enough appreciation for them. When I thought I was good in a class... there would always be someone else who would be far better than me. That alone would cause me to push myself over the edge so I can prove to myself and others that I am actually better at something than anyone else can possibly can.

"El Manana"

Every time I hear the chorus from El Manana by the Gorillaz, "I saw that day. Lost my mind. Lord I'm fine. Maybe in time, you'll be mine," it hits me hard. At first, for years, wasn't really sure why... but just recently today... I see it.

This is what each sentence mean to me personally.

"I saw that day." is the day I saw my crush get out of my sight and grasp. "Lost my mind." is when I started to feel depressed, paranoid, and angry. "Lord I'm fine." was when I was facing a battle of depression and thoughts of suicide, where I was escaping the grasp of suicide and fighting off the depression. ...can't remember what gave me the power though. "Maybe in time, you'll be mine." Is in hopes I may have my childhood crush. Time will tell I guess... for now I'm single as I ever been.

Journal Entry #12

Niece and Nephew visited tonight. Glad this visit was very tolerable... seems I can handle kids when they're not so hyper and screaming their heads off. ...guess I still wouldn't be able to be a good parent... if I ever want to have children that is; currently don't but time may change that. Helped my nephew with math, simplifying fractions. I'm very good in math so tutoring was easy (sort of).

Thoughts of "MLK Day"?

While preparing food for me, Dad asked me a question, "What are your thoughts of MLK Day?" Which also implies to how modern African Americans (A.A.) use their freedom as well.

This is my perspective, try not to take it out of proportion. I have no hate on Africans Americans... but I am slightly paranoid of them (varies on how I first see them in appearance and character).

Does Love Exist for Me?

Feeling a bit depressed right now... just found out the class slut is married and has a 1 year born. Yet another person I know from my class/generation who is engaged/married or had at least one love relationship. ...I know I'm still young and have plenty of time--if I had a dollar every time I heard that phrase, I'd have $50 or so (USD).

I wish I wasn't so shy, nervous, scared, paranoid, judgmental, quiet, boring and depressing in real life when I'm around people I don't know, or barely know; plus I find myself constantly saying stupid depressing things. I may have said this before... but I've tried to be social, lighten up and expand my horizons... but in most cases never catches on. I give one thing a try and I either forget about it or accept it into my life.

"The Five People You Meet In Heaven"

Just saw a heart warming movie, "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". Based on the novel from Mitch Albom, author of "Tuesday with Morrie".

It was on the TV my folks were watching when I walked in the room... it really grabbed me, missed a few minutes of it, but minor details is all. It's one of those "heart warming", "gets to you", "possible afterlife path" thought movie. Dad chocked in tears, after the second person of five, on who the protagonist meets in his afterlife to heaven, that between the third and forth... tears were threatening to come from my eyes. It's hard for me to let out emotions, so it was easy to hold them off. Didn't want to show weakness... but that's just a cop out.

At Times, it Hurts to Accept

From Chapter 68: "December", Page 39
By Veronica “Taeshi” Vera

I know I made a similar entry like this back in October (Related to a Character)... but this slightly different. In this final page of the chapter, that ended in December 30th (had to take some time to get my thoughts together), this page reminded me of how I had to accept the truth that "she" wouldn't love me back, that times changed us both, despite how long I had a crush on "her" and how long I waited to see "her" again, with a side of desperation for love.

In this page, Lucy is finally accepting the fact that Mike, whom she had a crush on for years, doesn't have the same feelings for her, and doesn't want to be friends anymore, after a one sided argument with Mike, where Mike finally spoke his feelings about Lucy. (Read the chapter for more details).

While I never had such an argument with my crush... I can still relate to Lucy's reaction and her accepting the truth from what Augustus said to her in the Library.

I am glad my crush... well ex-crush I should have been saying, has found someone she's happy with. I know it's a distance... but I'm glad to know she's still happy with him.