Mom brought up a huge load of life on me... car insurance fee (won't be able to pay), license renewal (may be able to pay including required current inspection, repairs may very if needed), get my property tax form for 2011 (which for some reason did not get nor for 2012, will find out later. Depending on the price on the tax and how much they usually cost based on car year, 98 for me, may not be able to pay) and then the big one that has me shaken up right now... getting a job that pays more than this "job" i have of running the sound board since the payment is always TBD and rare... sigh... I'm not gonna lie, that is going to be the most scariest thing for me... about as scary as a kid first going to a daycare or school, seeing all new faces, scared and may start to cry wanting their parents.
...I really don't want to face that last one alone... I'm just too damn nervous! Why can't Flare and Claire be here to give me a little hand at this job thing? I'm scared stiff to meet only new people these days... as long as one person I know is working there and I've known them for a long time, I'll feel more comfortable and secure... unfortunately that won't be the case... mom did bring up some examples that won't require talking to the public but just the employees, but I'm still shaken up.
I don't want to be a slum forever... but I don't want to face this alone either! I don't know if I'll be able to take the plunge either... feels too big of a step for me!
Currently trying to calm myself listening to this track (Jackle App - I Love Everything) but it isn't doing well enough to calm me down... even lost my appetite when that bomb shell hit... I know it's a way of life... I'm just too scared to enter it alone...
Mom did say we were going to take this one step at a time... the renewal isn't due till the end of September... but I've always dreaded of getting a job and seeing only new faces... I'm always shy and nervous around new people in person for maybe a month, could be exaggerating but still... it is time I stand on my own two feet financially though... I don't want my parents, nor they as well, to support me forever...
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