I was looking around Bulbapedia, while playing with Ruby for move and stat info between two Pokemon that are in relation of evolution. Then I wondered off to something else and came to here: Pokemon Controversy
Few of these accusations/concerns I agree with, some I don't really understand, rest... I just wanna slap them basically for not having an open mind.
I need to learn to not overdue than what is needed. That being said, need to also keep my curiosity in check as it may remind me of my past.
I was using Bulbapedia (Pokemon Wiki) to look up weaknesses in wild Pokemon I face, in Ruby, to plan which Pokemon to bring with me. I then got curious on one thing to another. I haven't been up-to-date with Pokemon since Ruby and Sapphire came out, game wise. As for Anime wise, somewhere in the first series (Johto and Kanto regions). Looking at new characters, missing information of what happened with the old character(s) and where the new one came from. Just seeing all that made me feel so... outdated and old.
Started playing Pokemon Ruby again, after not playing it for years on an old save file. Think I'm doing better than I did years ago, in general of Pokemon games... but now I don't have anyone to battle/trade with. I did as a kid between Red/Blue/Yellow and Gold/Silver versions... but the "peers" I had weren't very motivated, but would tease me if I made a mistake or got a bit lost... they were 3 badges ahead of me. I made a mistake once of using a master ball on a Ditto, it was the only pokeball I had at that time and got teased at. I asked "How do I get the bike?" in Blue and I got laughed at... by middle school I had to accept the fact they weren't really my friends and went on to try to find new ones. I was always easy to be picked on... left helpless without anyone to go to for comfort.
As I sit here, listening to early tracks of the Gorlliaz like "Feel Good Inc." "Kids With Guns" "El Manana" "19/2000 (Soulchild remix)" (Original here) that I would listen to back in my early years of high school, and possibly 8th grade in middle school, has me thinking about my learning skills
Seems during my 13 years of school... I have always felt rushed, not to do my best... but to BE the best... to always get the best grades. Eventually I was doing okay in school... but by the time I got to middle school... I felt like I was lagging behind. Sure my grades were able to pass... but I don't feel I got enough appreciation for them. When I thought I was good in a class... there would always be someone else who would be far better than me. That alone would cause me to push myself over the edge so I can prove to myself and others that I am actually better at something than anyone else can possibly can.
Every time I hear the chorus from El Manana by the Gorillaz, "I saw that day. Lost my mind. Lord I'm fine. Maybe in time, you'll be mine," it hits me hard. At first, for years, wasn't really sure why... but just recently today... I see it.
This is what each sentence mean to me personally.
"I saw that day." is the day I saw my crush get out of my sight and grasp. "Lost my mind." is when I started to feel depressed, paranoid, and angry. "Lord I'm fine." was when I was facing a battle of depression and thoughts of suicide, where I was escaping the grasp of suicide and fighting off the depression. ...can't remember what gave me the power though. "Maybe in time, you'll be mine." Is in hopes I may have my childhood crush. Time will tell I guess... for now I'm single as I ever been.
