When Walking Away Feels I'm Giving Up

Regardless of the server, when things get too tense for me on TF2, like someone able to get headshot after headshot to the point that they may be suspected of using an aimbot, or just seems like I can't do anything right no matter what, I find it trouble for me to walk away and do something else. Reason is that if I quit I'll feel like a quitter and that I'll be letting those players get to me of being nothing but a failure, even at the end when it gets fun and more relaxed. I'm probably too full of pride to swallow and cut my loses. Just... hate being showed up like that one after another and that I'm just pathetic in anything, regardless of how I'm progressing. 

On the new server I go to, there's this player that is stupidly unbelievably good at sniping. One headshot after another after another, no hesitation what so ever from this guy. It's very aggravating to me and I'm sure to other players. First day on that server for me I was happy and having fun, next day can't make two steps out of spawn without getting headshoted instantly.

I really don't like those players... they just ruin the fun in it by being that stupidly good. It's like they're mocking other players who can't play like that and make the game so dang easy than it looks for us all. I'm surprised they're not bored of it already at that rate.

I didn't go on a rage or claim that player was using aimbot, however can't help but suspect that still, and was close too... Makes me again depressed and think "I'm just a very bad player and I can't get any better at it no matter how long or frequent I play." Really trying hard not to take anything personal from those players that are just stupidly better than me or over think that they are taking it personal behind the screen. I just hate losing and that I never put much effort into helping my team, no matter how hard I try. Really makes me sad and useless.

I lack self-esteem and easily get depressed when another person is doing better than I am ten folds in anything. It kills my motivation to progress and get better.

Maybe I should just cut my losses all together and not bother with TF2 anymore. I know I said that many times but... just getting tired of it really. Probably because I'm trying to play it on a laptop, just bad at playing period, or both. Or I get too intense easily, can't relax and enjoy the game and just accept that no matter what I'll probably never be able to kill certain people.

I really need to learn to just stop playing and calm down, maybe for the rest of the day, even if it means missing out on all the fun that may happen on the server. Don't want to risk ruining others' fun.