When Walking Away Feels I'm Giving Up

Regardless of the server, when things get too tense for me on TF2, like someone able to get headshot after headshot to the point that they may be suspected of using an aimbot, or just seems like I can't do anything right no matter what, I find it trouble for me to walk away and do something else. Reason is that if I quit I'll feel like a quitter and that I'll be letting those players get to me of being nothing but a failure, even at the end when it gets fun and more relaxed. I'm probably too full of pride to swallow and cut my loses. Just... hate being showed up like that one after another and that I'm just pathetic in anything, regardless of how I'm progressing. 

On the new server I go to, there's this player that is stupidly unbelievably good at sniping. One headshot after another after another, no hesitation what so ever from this guy. It's very aggravating to me and I'm sure to other players. First day on that server for me I was happy and having fun, next day can't make two steps out of spawn without getting headshoted instantly.

Another TF2 Server, None but Fun.

I found this server after watching some reality-show type series on youtube that showed players having fun on a server. I loved the series and thought about checking out the server. Right now, having a lot of fun on it, better than other server I go to, which is starting to make a recovery.

Overall I found the server more fun than intense compared to the other server. This is a server I may go to more often than the other. There is one thing different about this server though. Friendly Fire is always on. It is something that I'm trying to get used to. At first I accidentally kept killing my team mates, and it's hard to spy check if you're not a pyro without teamkilling. Eventually I went from TK after TK to only team damage and barely any TK's. It's still something to get used to though in time.

Feel of a Little Guilt

While I'm having fun on Mabinogi, I have also been lucky as well, or so it feels like, and getting powerful too... however, I seem to have lost track of why I started playing in the first place... to have fun with my friends. Even when they're not online, I am. Guess Mabinogi got me addicted to it.

With the events right now, was able to find items that people would drop on the ground like equipment, or find good weapons and clothes from treasure chests or drops. Even though I know my inventory can't hold so much, I keep finding these things. Selling them though isn't exactly easy since I don't exactly know the market that all well yet and don't know how to sell them either without them taking up space in my inventory.

Right now I feel like I'm leaving a friend behind even though she started roughly before me. So far we're on the same story quest, I like to keep it that way, but I don't want to exceed more than her, but around the same. She is good, but lack of time to play where she lives... and I just continue to progress on further than her. I feel ashamed right now.

Mabinogi

Lately for the past week and a half, I've been playing Mabinogi with Fang and Nalena. It's very fun after you get overwhelmed with all the things you can do. Highly suggest you take your time on what you wish to do in-game. The game is different than any MMORPG I've ever played that's been in release. There are a few issues/flaws in this game that do annoy me gameplay wise that I feel Antilia could do better and learn from. There is a huge lack of fanbase than other Asian games, very pleased too. There is here and there, but not everywhere.

For me, combat is: Sword + Shield (had thoughts of dual weilding before) and Fighter (aka Martial Arts). As for life, it's a mix of Apothecary (Herbs and Medicine), Tailoring, Merchant (aka Commerce, basically transport items to another town for profit in commerce currency of Ducats, Gold, and gain Exp.) and Carpenter (just to get firewood to make a campfire, very useful when with friends in a party or not).

The game is really casual friendly than hardcore. Combat is not the main focus to this game. Weapon and equipment don't majorly matter to your stats, talents and skills do. Who needs skill and hardcore when you can just have casual fun? Games highly lack that sadly... seems everyone has lost the meaning to video games these days.

Here's some screenshots:

Don't I look purdy? :3

He's STANDING on a STANDING horse!

I always wanted to be a tree.

More screenshots can be found on my steam profile: Mabinogi Screenshots
My recommendation on it as well: Mabinogi: Recommend Note
I am on the Alexina server.

There Ain't No Rest for the Kitty

Grr! Today was suppose to be a relaxing day for me. Nothing but being disturbed, interruptions after another, and barely any moment of peace and relaxation for me!

These past few days have been busy for me and I finally had a day to calm and relax. However we had to get the plumber here due to a back up problem (leading to the build up of sewage and acid along with odor), dad had to deal with some insurance thing and his agent had to arrive at the house on the same day to resolve some issue. Phones kept ringing since this morning and I had to be the one to answer them since Dad was out busy and Mom was at work.

I got invited to a MMO called Mabinogi with from friends from Antilia. I like the game, but just couldn't concentrate it without getting interrupted over and over again! When I'm not playing a game, nothing! When playing a game, everyone wants my attention even if it's something important that I already figured myself!

Can't I just get a day to relax and unstress myself out from the work I've done in the past few days?! ARGH!

Sigh... I'll be fine... just... want some time alone to myself for a change... too much to ask for?