"In The End"

These lyrics, so far in the the song "In the End" by Linkin Park, speaks to me, harder than they did years ago.

Trying to hold on, but didn’t even know I wasted it all just to watch you go. I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter.

First Sentence: There was a crush I had since 1st grade to 8th grade, she moved during the summer between the 7th and 8th grade transitions.

Second Sentence: I missed her so much, felt lonely and behind. I believe she didn't mean to hurt me... although she was the only friend I was happy to see during the school years, too bad we never had any classes together.

Third Sentence: I waited years to finally see her again, and finally have the courage to admit my feelings for her. Even wanted to give her a heart-shaped necklace with little diamonds in it--got it while getting my class ring during junior year, it was free if you made the requirement order. In senior year... it turns out she was already dating someone else. I waited for an opening, but eventually she would be able to find another sooner than I could admit my feelings for her. I was just too afraid.

Last Sentence: All that wait and keeping her in my heart and mind for many years was all for not. She probably didn't even love me back... but I couldn't let go of her. I have now, about a month ago or so. She's engaged. Seems she finally found a man worth having... I can't even compete. I'm glad we're still friends though... just wish that wait was really worth it though.

I wish it was worth a shot to even have a relationship with her... but I think I already lost her years ago, not physically... but mentally. ...probably because I soon doubted, and then accepted it.