The song "My December" by Linkin Park really speaks to me. I honestly don't have a path for myself. Two years after graduating from high school and I'm still at a dead end in this maze of life. My friends and other people I met have managed to progress into the maze, while I'm left behind to find the right path. I was never able to catch up to my other classmates in terms of education, interests, and/or activities. Since early 8th grade, I felt abandoned, forgotten, and alone. I would follow crowds to fill in the lonelyness, but eventually they would be able to ditch me in the maze. I tried to catch up, but eventually I lost them, back to square one: walk through the maze alone. Dead end after dead end, I slowly gave up hope for myself.
I saw a few classmates walking by as a pair. As much as I wanted love... I couldn't find it in the maze. I looked and hoped, nothing but more dead ends after another. More and more I saw couple after couple in the maze. I didn't catch any girl's attention, nor did any girl catch my attention. It is almost as if, they saw death walking by, when it's acually just a sad boy wanting care and love. I wasn't given enough of it, with no source to get more.
I entered in this maze too soon... I wish I entered later when the maze was ready for me, and not me ready for the maze. The ones I knew in my generation and class are miles ahead of me in the maze, while I'm left to find the right path out on my own.
At times I get help from a fairy, but she too can't always be by myside. She flys to me time-to-time when needed... but the fact I need her more than ever isn't fair. She's busy with important stuff, while I need a source of encouragement and motivation. I don't want to be a burden to the fairy. I don't want anyone to stop for me, but slow down for me and let me catch up. I don't know where my life is headed... and I have no way of controling it either.
...I want out of this maze... I was not ready for it. Wish I had the choice to wait before entering.
"My December" by Linkin Park
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